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Marriage

periyar 425Married couple should behave to each other like bosom friends. In any matter, the bridegroom should not the vanity that he is the husband. The bride also should behave in such a manner as not think of herself as her husband's slave and cook.

Married couple should not be hasty in bringing forth children. It will be good if children are born at least three years after the marriage.

Marriage people should spend according to what they earn. They should not borrow. Even if the income be small, they should save at least a little. This is what I would call discipline in life.

Marriage people should have a helpful bent of mind. Even if they cannot do well, they should desist from doing harm. A smaller number of children will be conducive to a good and honest life and a life of comfort.

Married people should endeavour by all means to adapt their life to the present day conditions of the world. Forgetting the world to come, they should do what is required for life now in this world.

The terms, ' husband ' and ' wife ' are inappropriate. They are only companions and partners. One does not slave for the other. They both have equal status.

Only when there is an opportunity for freedom of love does a country or society show enrichment in knowledge, affection, culture, and compassion. Where love by compulsion exists, only brutality and slavishness grow.

Finding each other indispensable in life is the mark of a lofty kind of love.

No book of ethical conduct or scripture preaches that a child - wife should be fettered by bonds of marriage and plunged into family life, when she is not prepared for it by age, and entrusted to the shackled guardianship of the husband.

Both the citizens and the police should have the right to legally proceed against those connected with unlawful marriages.

A wedding should be contracted only on the principle of the sexes, and equality of treatment. Otherwise, it is better that women live alone, without ' holy matrimony. Why should woman be slave to man?

Wedding expenses should not go beyond 10 or 15 days average income of the people. Another change is that the number of days of the wedding celebrations should be reduced.

I don't accept the words, ' Wedding, ' or ' marriage '. I term it only as a contract for companionship in life, for such a contract, except for an oath, and if necessary, a proof of registration of the contract where is the need for other ceremonies? Why should there be waste of mental effort, time, money, enthusiasm and energy on that count?

Because of irrational and extravagant wedding expenses for two or three days for gaining the approbation of a few, the wedding couple or their families suffer for a long time in debt. A few families become paupers because of wedding expenses.

It is enough, if the man and the woman sign and declare at the Registrar's Office that they have become 'Companions for life '. Such a wedding on the basis of a mere signature has more dignity, advantage and independence.

We need not follow traditional customs of marriage. Observances in according with the spirit of the time and society and the present advance of knowledge should be established. If we have to follow the ways of a particular period for all times, then it is evident that we have not grown in knowledge.

The ' self - respect marriage ' is the result of the spirit of inquiry.

Marriage does not concern the wedding couple only. It is linked with the progress of the nation.

-Comrade Periyar - Original source: Dravidarkazhagam. www.periyar.org

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"பார்ப்பான், சூத்திரன், பறையன் என்கிற ஜாதி அமைப்பு இருக்கிற வரையில் இந்த நாட்டில் ஒரு இஞ்ச் அளவுகூட முன்னேற்றம் காண முடியாது என்று உறுதியாகக் கூறுவேன்" - பெரியார்

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